


Red is the Color of Passion

by SpookyNoodle



Category: RWBY
Genre: Absurd, Comedy, F/M, Humor, crack comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2019-02-06 22:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12827460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyNoodle/pseuds/SpookyNoodle
Summary: A post-shower mishap involving a fallen towel lands Jaune in a heap of trouble, and awakens a part of Ruby that no one expected.





	1. Behold, Excalibur!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora sabotages the JNPR shower, and Jaune's towel slips as he's leaving the RWBY dorm. Something stirs within Ruby.

Jaune knew something was wrong before he even entered Team JNPR's dorm room. It was sort of a knack he'd developed during his stay at Beacon. Sort of a very specific sixth sense that really only triggered when problems in  _his_  life were imminent. For the past couple of weeks, it had been quiet, but on this day of all days, it was blaring at full alarm. Seeing how it was in proximity to his dorm room, there was really only one thing he could attribute it to. It couldn't have been Pyrrha, as his relationship with her was as good as it had ever been. They were the best of friends, inseparable, even. Couldn't have been Ren either; Jaune was fairly certain he was incapable of getting into trouble. No, there was really only one person who could be setting off his "Oh fuck," alarm.

Nora Valkyrie.

The blond Huntsman-in-Training sighed and grasped the brass doorknob of the room and tried to imagine what could be going wrong. Did she manage to finally sneak a sloth on campus? Did she fill their room with pancakes somehow? Did she burn down his closet,  _again_? He grimaced, briefly contemplating not returning to his Dorm, but perhaps going for a walk or something. Then again, he didn't want to run into Goodwitch stalking the halls. With a tight-lipped look of trepidation, Jaune opened the door and peered inside.

Nothing. The room looked...normal? He frowned.  _Great,_  he thought,  _I've started going insane. Figured it'd happen eventually._ His closet wasn't on fire, there were no animals laying about, and there was a conspicuous lack of breakfast food. Maybe for once he was being paranoid? He stepped into the room, waiting for... _something_  to happen. So far however, nothing. He scratched his head. "Huh." He murmured, a small smile playing around his lips. With that he began to start removing his armor and tossing it haphazardly onto his bed. Next, his hoodie was removed revealing his shirt beneath it, but in doing so he caught a wiff of himself and gave a disgusted face. He smelled to high heaven.

Now that he stopped and thought about it, a shower  _did_ sound nice. Yeah, that's what he'd do. Take a nice, long shower and tuck in for the night. Luckily for him, it wasn't one of the nights he was training with Pyrrha, so some relaxation was in order. No sooner had he managed to toss his hoodie onto the bed then a sound caught his attention.

"No, Renny! We can't tell him! What if he yells at me?" a feminine voice whispered loudly, causing Jaune to sigh. Obviously he'd jumped to too quick a conclusion when he'd assumed everything was alright.

"Nora," Ren's voice came from the bathroom, sounding as exasperated as Jaune felt, "You know he's not going to. If he didn't yell at you for burning down his closet a couple of months ago, I don't think this is even going to register as anger."

Jaune internally sighed with relief. If it wasn't as bad as him losing almost all of his clothing, then it was something he could easily deal with. Still, why on earth were their voices coming from the bathroom? Did Nora do something to the toilet? He grimaced. He was  _not_ looking forward to having to deal with Goodwitch and telling her that there was an issue with the plumbing. He hated dealing with her as it was, but having to tell her that something in his dorm had been damaged again was a scenario he wasn't looking forward to.

Delaying things would only make the situation worse, so he decided it would be better to just talk to them and get it over with. He left his hoodie on the bed and stepped cautiously over to the bathroom. Given how nervous she had sounded, he wouldn't put it past Nora to simply blow something up and escape in the confusion. When he found he was still conscious by the time he reached the door, he sighed in relief. The door opened quickly to reveal a skittish Nora hiding behind a bored-looking Ren.

"What's going on, guys?"

Ren shrugged "Nothing major. Nora did something to the shower. Now the water only gets lukewarm and smells like maple syrup."

"It was the Canadians' fault! Yang told me they were a myth, and so I was trying to lure one here to trap it!"

"Nora, you still haven't explained what a 'Canadian' is supposed to be." Ren sighed.

"They are mysterious creatures, attracted to maple syrup! They ride mooses into battle, and they carry a magic in their veins known as 'centralized healthcare'!"

"I'm not going to even begin to try to understand what she's talking about." Jaune murmured, shaking his head slowly.

Ren nodded at him. "Probably for the best."

"They're real, I swear!" Nora exclaimed.

"I believe you Nora, but was sabotaging our shower necessary?"

"Jaune-Jaune, you don't understand! They are crafty predators, using funny accents to confuse their prey!"

"Their prey being...?"

"Poutine!"

"Okay, now you're just talking gibberish." Jaune kept talking over Nora's protests that they were all in danger. "Listen, I really need to take a shower, but it's late enough that I'll probably get in trouble with Goodwitch if I try to make it to the locker rooms. What should I do?"

There was no better person to come to than Ren when it came to male hygiene.

"Well, I have this tea that makes your sweat smell-"

Jaune held up a hand. "Let me stop you right there. No teas, or herbs, or... nothing I have to eat, okay? What are some other options."

Ren muttered something about no one appreciating his herb-based genius before continuing. "You could always use RWBY's shower."

...

"What? Are you nuts?!"

"Jaune, I fail to see the problem. Why can't you just go across the hall and ask to use their shower? We're so close to them that we're practically roommates already."

"Because they're girls, Ren! Asking that kind of thing is weird. Besides, the last thing I want is to ask four beautiful women for a favor smelling like this."

Ren smiled and shook his head. "Jaune, they're our friends. They won't think any less of you for wanting to clean yourself up."

"Yeah, maybe not Ruby or Blake, but you know Yang won't stop teasing me about it and Weiss will probably accuse me of being a pervert and trying to corrupt Ruby or something…" Jaune grimaced, with just a touch of irritation playing about his features.

"Pfft, who cares? Weiss is a butt anyway." Nora replied, even as she continued to mess with the taps of their now busted shower.

"Nora!" Jaune quickly chastised her. Sure, he wasn't trying to pursue her anymore, but she was still a friend...an admittedly annoying one sometimes.

"What? She's all super stickler about the rules and stuff and everything has to be in order and blah blah blah." Nora countered.

Jaune froze. "Wait...do you mean she's anal?"

Nora sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah!"

"Then why didn't you-" Jaune stopped himself and sighed yet again. "You know what? Never mind. I'm just going to try my luck with Team RWBY. I'll just have to hope Weiss is in a good mood. Can one of you two hand me a towel?"

Almost immediately, an orange towel was thrust into his face by Nora, who was smiling from ear to ear. Jaune unfolded it and his lips turned further downward. "Nora?"

"Yeah, Jaune-Jaune?"

"A bigger one, please?" The size of the towel was barely big enough to wrap around his waist, and he'd have to hold it with both hands just to keep it up.

Nora laughed nervously. "Ehehehe, see, funny thing about that…"

Jaune whimpered. "What?"

"That's kinda the last towel left. I used up most of them trying to mop up the water from when I was adjusting the taps."

There was silence following that and Jaune could only turn away, towel slung over his shoulder. Talking wasn't getting him anywhere. It was decided, after he managed to get a shower, he was going to sleep early and if anyone woke him up, he was putting them on Nora clean up duty for a month.

Even if it was Nora herself.

* * *

_Knock-knock_

Jaune stood out in the hallway in his shirt and jeans, lips drawn into a thin line. He wasn't looking forward to doing this, but what other choice did he have? It was either that or go to sleep smelling like the back end of a mule. He could hear voices from the other side of the door, muffled enough to where he could only pick out various voices by octaves, but not what they were saying. A minute or two passed before he heard a loud 'THUD' followed by what was obviously muffled cursing. Finally the door opened up to reveal Ruby, her silver eyes staring up at Jaune with a surprised, but happy smile.

"Hey, Jaune! What's up?"

Jaune scratched the back of his head nervously. "Erm, well...long story short, Nora kinda ended up messing up our shower, and until I can get Goodwitch to send someone to repair it, we're kinda having issues with the bathing front. I was hoping that...I could kinda...maybe...if it wouldn't be too much effort...use your guys' shower?"

Ruby nodded happily. "I'll have to ask everyone, but I don't think it'll be a pro-"

Weiss pushed the other girl out of the way and stood in the doorway, one hand on her hip, the other in Jaune's face. "Absolutely not! Under no circumstances are you to disrobe within this room!"

Jaune laughed nervously and scratched at the back of his head. Did she really have to put it like that? "Technically I won't be  **in** the room, I'll be next to it. And I can't really wear my clothes into the shower."

"I don't care! I refuse to have a naked man anywhere near my partner!" Weiss then paused for a brief moment before continuing with, "Or me! No nakedness near me either!" Her face took on that cute flush it always had when she was embarrassed. Her skin was so pale, it didn't take much to color it.

"Weiss." A reproachful voice spoke from behind her.

"What?!" Weiss indignantly turned to face the voice, which turned out to be Blake.

"Jaune needs to clean up and we have the ability to help him. Even you know he would never do something like that, so I'm not sure why we're still talking about this."

Weiss looked like she was about to yell some more, but she instead let out a petulantly puff of air and stalked back to her bed, burying her face in her pillow.

"Well?" Her muffled voice reached Jaune.

"Uh, Weiss? You realize I'm not naked yet, right?"

"I'm preparing myself."

Blake chuckled from her bed as Jaune stepped into the room. "We had a similar conversation around the first week of school, when Weiss refused to allow anyone to change in the same room. Yang eventually got so fed up that she threatened to not only change in the room, but also to not wear any underwear. Weiss glowed like a mag torch, but we were able to settle things."

Jaune chuckled, but his own cheeks glowed with how hard he was trying to  _not_ imagine that image. "Hey, thanks for your help."

Blake smiled at him before returning to her book. "No problem, Jaune."

Yang called out from her top bunk, "Go get yourself clean, but don't you dare touch my shampoo!"

Jaune shook his head and revealed his own toiletries under his towel. "Relax, I brought my own."

Ruby giggled behind her hand and pointed. "Isn't that baby shampoo?"

With a huff and a slight darkening of his cheeks, Jaune stowed the shampoo underneath his towel to avoid further teasing. "You may mock me, but at least it won't sting if it gets in my eyes."

Yang chuckled. "You do realize that it's not no more tears but no more  _tears_ , right? It keeps your hair from getting damaged."

Jaune fell silent, and his eyes went wide. "I... I've been living a lie." Ruby giggled, and Jaune broke out into a smile. Anyway, I'm taking a shower and going to bed." With that, Jaune proceeded to rush into the restroom before his ego could be damaged any further, the sounds of Yang's chuckles and Ruby's weak attempts to bring order back to the room falling to muffles behind the closed door.

He sighed yet again, by this point in the night having lost count of how many times he'd done so. There was one good thing about having no dignity left to speak of.

It wasn't like he could lose any more, right?

* * *

 

**[Team JNPR Dorm]**

Pyrrha stepped into the room, and immediately realized three things upon initial inspection alone. One, that Nora had obviously done something detrimental to the safety and/or cleanliness to the dorm judging by the look on her face and how she kept looking nervously between Ren and herself. Two, that Jaune was not in the room as his presence was easily spotted in any situation, and lastly that Jaune had left his armor atop his bed, which was usually a good indicator that he should be taking a shower about now. No it  _wasn't_ weird that she knew the habits and patterns of her partner. She was just observant, that was all.

"So…" The redhead began, "What happened?"

Ren just sighed and looked over to Nora, who at least had the decency to look embarrassed. "Nora here has done something to the shower. So unless you want to bathe in watered down maple syrup, I suggest you find some other method to do so until someone can fix the plumbing."

"Oh." Pyrrha blinked. Unsurprisingly, this didn't appear to phase her, although her inner thoughts could most likely be compared to Jaune's earlier ones. Exasperation and resignation. She shook her head. "In that case, where is Jaune?"

Ren absentmindedly thumbed in the direction of the dorm's door. "He's across the hall in Team RWBY's room using their shower."

Try as she might, Pyrrha, couldn't resist the sting of jealousy that flashed through her mind at the possibility that one of Team RWBY would see her blond love interest naked. Again, she shook her head, trying to dislodge the thought. "O-oh, okay. I honestly could just use the locker room showers in the morning if need be." The spartan took a seat at her desk and pulled out her study guide, a massive book that hit the wooden desk with a very audible ' _THUD_ ' and looked about as thick as Nora's usual morning stack of pancakes.

Once again Team JNPR's room fell into silence, the kind of comfortable silence that could only come from those who were close to one another. Pyrrha studied, Nora fiddled with the mechanisms on her hammer, and Ren began to perform maintenance on his own weaponry. Nights like these were rare, and precious.

Little did they know that said nights would become even rarer with the events about to unfold in the next room…

* * *

 

**[Team RWBY Dorm]**

_Okay, take a deep breath. You can do this. It's only a few feet from the bathroom door to the dorm door, and then across the hall to your dorm. You'll just speed on through and ignore anything Yang says._  Jaune closed his eyes, his hands trying to keep his towel wrapped around himself. His hair was still matted and wet. He took a breath and held it for a few seconds before releasing it. Another breath, and then he spoke up from behind the door. "I'm coming out now, Weiss!" He waited a few seconds, and with the air of a man who was about to go to war, opened the door. He stepped out into the room proper, and, unsurprisingly, three pairs of eyes were directly on him. Trying to ignore them, he proceeded to make his way nervously across the dorm, praying that nothing would happen.

Yang and Blake didn't say a word, but their thought processes were quite similar as they quietly watched the nervous blond boy try to exit the room with haste.  _Wow...all that training Pyrrha's putting him through is really paying off..._ Sure, he wasn't at Sun's level of abs, but he was certainly filling out. Blake had actually taken the time to pull out her Scroll and carefully place it above the top of the book she was reading so she could stealthily take pictures. Sure, she wasn't  _super_ into Jaune, but she wasn't one to waste such an opportunity to take a few photos of his growth. It might even impress some of the girls in the secret Beacon bulletin board. Or she could use it to get a few favors out of Pyrrha. Lord knows the girl was thirsty for Jaune.

Yang on the other hand suddenly realized as Jaune was about to reach the door that she was giving up prime teasing opportunity. Thinking fast, she gripped her scroll and shouted, "Vomit Boy! Catch!" WIth that, she tossed the Scroll at Jaune, who in a panic let go of one end of the towel to grab the speeding Scroll. He stepped forward, the towel around his waist now being held up only by one hand barely covering his modesty with other hand ready to grab the Scroll in an automatic response. That's when disaster struck.

Blake tended to read late into the night, and often would resort to candlelight to read her dirty books when everyone else was trying to get some sleep. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten to clean up the candles the night before, and Jaune's bare foot stepped onto one of them, causing him to sleep and fall backwards, hitting the ground hard. He groaned and whimpered. "Ow…Yang...why…"

Jaune rubbed his head, having smacked the back of it onto the floor of the dorm room. He'd been  _so_ close to getting out of the room without incident, so  _why_ did Yang feel the need to torment him?! What the hell had he tripped on, anyway? He slowly climbed to his feet, feeling his Aura take care of the dizziness he'd gotten from tripping. It was then he noticed something. The room was oddly silent. He looked up to see Yang, Blake and Weiss all staring at him in complete shock. Yang's jaw was hanging open like Jaune had grown an extra head, Blake was hiding her face behind her book with her bow twitching furiously, and Weiss…

Weiss twitched and suddenly her head snapped back as though she'd been struck with a baseball bat, blood flying from her nose and body collapsing onto her bed. Jaune blinked in confusion, only to suddenly realize something. The room had gotten a lot more  _breezy_ in the past few seconds. Slowly, with horror and realization mounting on his face, he looked down…

Only to notice the towel was on the floor.

Sheer embarrassment and humiliation froze him in place, his mind going blank as he internally panicked. So terrified was he, of the reaction that would surely happen, that he didn't notice that Blake's scroll was taking picture after picture. What  _did_ finally bring him out of his reverie was Yang's boisterous voice shouting out, "Holy hell, Arc! Why the hell are you bothering with Crocea Mors?! You could just use that sword!"

Jaune bent over and grabbed the towel so quickly that it looked as though he'd temporarily tapped into some sort of time-dilation Semblance in the half a second after Yang's teasing shout. He looked up, stammering and sweating as he began to inch toward the door once more. Yang had already pulled out her own Scroll and was, from the looks of it, texting someone. "Oh god, I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to!" Jaune managed to spit out as his mind began to play through various worst-case scenarios that could result from this particular tragic mishap. He gripped the towel tighter and turned toward the door, only for said door to suddenly burst open revealing a  _very_ red faced Pyrrha who looked out of breath, as though she'd ran over as fast as possible. He watched as his partner looked at him, her expression going from 'excited' to 'disappointed' very slowly before she turned away and walked back out. A moment later, he heard a muffled scream of frustration and a cry of "it's not fair!" from his dorm.

Jaune blinked in confusion, and shook his head. With haste he'd never shown before, Jaune quickly followed Pyrrha, not bothering to even look behind him. The sound of Yang's laughter rang in his ears, and his face was as red as Pyrrha's hair. Even as he slammed Team RWBY's door behind him and stood out in the hallway, his body stiffened with shame, he thought to himself,  _Well, that could have gone better...at least it didn't look like Ruby saw anything…_

Back in the room, the aforementioned Red Reaper sat quietly on her bed, her expression hidden behind her bangs even as her sister began to chat with Blake about Jaune's new 'sword.' The book sitting in her lap was forgotten about, and the discussion was only so much static to Ruby's mind. She simply sat on to the top bunk of her bed, eyes wide open in awe. It was the first time she'd ever seen a boy's... _thing_ before. The only thing she could think in regards to it was, ' _Now_ _ **that's**_ _a katana!_ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/N: You think things have gotten awkward now? We're only just beginning. So, this is a collaborative project between myself and my amigo, LaughingLefou. As the tags suggest, this is Lancaster, and our goal is to make things as stupidly awkward and hilarious as possible. There will be pervertedness, blackmail, yandere, awkwardness, jokes, gags, and japes. Despite the fact that I'm a part of this, and it's being posted on my account, there won't be any smut. The idea that I write things other than sex seems to confuse some people.
> 
> L/N: What on earth is wrong with me? This idea was something that just randomly popped into my head along the lines of, "What if Ruby was actually perverted?" Then from there, it just sort of became...well, this. As Spooky above has said, this is a collaborative project with us pooling our efforts to create this masterpiece of insanity, perversion and awkwardness. Not quite to the extent of Immortal, but I feel as though this should tickle enough people's funny bones to be worth the read.


	2. The Beast Awakens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blake and Yang tease Jaune for the previous day's mishap, Ruby becomes Blake's 'pervert apprentice'.

"So how do you like your sausage, Blake?"

"I might not be able to fit it all in my mouth, Yang; it's pretty huge."

"Would all of you stop talking?! The last thing I want is to be reminded of that- that-!"

"Jaune's dick?!"

"Yes, thank you! That was so helpful!"

Time passed, as it tends to do, and RWBY and JNPR sat at their usual table for breakfast the next day. Jaune had barely gotten any sleep the previous night, embarrassed beyond belief after 'the incident.' He prayed that the rest of his team, along with Team RWBY, would be mature enough to let the humiliating occurrence drop, but instead...

"I honestly don't know how anyone could take all of it. I'd feel positively stuffed!"

Yeah... that. He turned to Pyrrha, hoping for some semblance of sanity at the table, but she was staring off into space, an undignified droplet of drool forming at the corner of her mouth. She occasionally muttered something about 'towels' and smiled and nodded every time Blake or Yang said something. It was honestly kind of worrying.

"Erm...Ren!" Jaune turned to the other direction, praying that his only male friend would give him some sort of advice. The pink-eyed ninja just stared back with a look that said, 'What can you do?' and shrugged. The blonde Huntsman-in-training whimpered and hung his head.

"You...you two…" Weiss began, finally managing to find her voice amidst the constant phallic imagery her two teammates were describing, "...you two are disgusting! I've been trying to forget that! Stop bringing it up!"

"You didn't seem to mind it in the heat of the moment, Weiss-cream. Why, if I recall correctly, you couldn't get enough of the view! Staring, with longing, passion-filled eyes!" Blake chuckled as Yang opened her eyes as far as they would go, staring off into the middle distance at something 'beautiful'.

"What?! I didn't!" Weiss sputtered, not nearly as certain as she might have been.

"Seriously guys, come on! Could you just drop it already?" Jaune whined. "It was your fault in the first place, Yang!"

The buxom blonde shrugged. "Eh, details, details. Besides, I didn't mind the view, myself." It was Jaune's turn to sputter as Yang through her head back and cackled, holding out a fist for Blake to bump, which she did.

Nora was looking at Pyrrha. "Maybe I shouldn't have told her..."

A squeaky voice of surprising clarity broke through the confusion, and Yang stopped her guffaws almost immediately. "Now, stop that. Yang, Blake, Weiss; for shame. Jaune is a friend, and we shouldn't make fun of him like that." Ruby stood at her place at the table, holding her hands out like some magnanimous adjudicator, staring at Jaune with a pleasant, but unmoving smile, and half-lidded eyes. "It was nothing more than a happy accident. Let's all just move on a let the issue go." Jaune sighed in relief, face almost dipping into his breakfast from the movement.

"What?! I wasn't teasing him, I was-"

"Let it go, Weiss."

Yang leaned over to the heiress, whispering conspiratorially in her ear, "Yeah, the memory is just something we'll have to cherish in our hearts... forever."

"Forever...?" Weiss' face filled with red like a tea-kettle, and if one looked closely, they might have seen steam coming from her ears.

Blake, on the other hand, was deep in thought. She hadn't missed Ruby's slip of the tongue. "Happy accident" indeed. Sure the view hadn't been bad, but Ruby was fifteen, acted like she was younger. More than that, it had sounded... genuine. She'd have to talk to her leader about this.

Jaune finished his breakfast quickly, not entirely trusting Yang and Blake to be well-behaved. As he stood from the table, he heard the same uncharacteristically calm voice from before, "Jaune?"

"Hey Ruby!" His fellow team leader skipped around her side of the table before walking next to him, her hood swishing around her school skirt with every step.

She walked with him, moving... kinda close. After he clear away the trash on his tray, and stacked it with the others, he turned to Ruby, smiling. "Thanks, Rubes. That was getting kinda much. I appreciate you stepping in."

"My _pleasure_  Jaune." She didn't normally emphasize words like that, did she? "I was glad to. They shouldn't talk about  _my_  friend like that." She kept staring at him with those big eyes.

"Uh, right. Anyway, I really appreciate it." He started to turn away.

"Jaune?" Ruby grabbed his hand, skipping around to face him. He looked at her. "Why don't we do a team-leader-meeting this Friday night? It's been awhile since our last one, and I want to surprise our teams with something fun..." She'd stepped closer as she spoke, until she was almost standing on Jaune's shoes.

"Just... the two of us?" She walked a pair of fingers up his chest before resting her hand on the curve of his collar.

"I mean, yeah Ruby. That's why it's a team leader meeting. Just us." Jaune explained, drawing his lips into a thin line. Maybe it was just his sleep-deprived nerves, but Ruby seemed to be acting a bit...off?

"Great!" Her eyes almost flashed with excitement. "Friday night?" He nodded. "Wonderful." She pulled him into a hug, draping her arms over his neck. Taken aback by the sudden contact, Jaune could only fall into step with Ruby's actions, hugging her back. It wasn't an unpleasant gesture by any means, but Ruby was rarely so 'hands-on.' Seconds ticked by as they held each other, Jaune slowly coming to grips with just how awkward this would look if anyone they knew happened to be looking in on them. More time passed, and Ruby showed no signs of letting go, Jaune's brow furrowing. Then her hands began to move across his back, rubbing him and slowly travelling down his back until-

"Erm, Rubes? We kinda have class?" Jaune brought up, a little quicker and more nervous in tone than he'd have liked. Now he knew he was sleep deprived; there was no way that Ruby of all people would be trying to reach for his butt, would she?

"Oh, yeah, right!" As if nothing strange had happened, Ruby bounced backward off of Jaune, smiling widely with her tone still eerily calm. "I'm looking forward to Friday…"

"Y-yeah...same." Jaune answered back, rubbing his eyes to try and wake up, even just a little. That hug had lasted quite a while too, now that he thought about it. Maybe Ruby was cold? Yeah, the hall was always cold in the mornings. It had to be that.

Ruby beamed at Jaune was he walked away, shaking his head like a wet dog. In that same instant, Blake sidled up to her. "Ruby?"

"Yes, Blake?" Ruby still wasn't taking her eyes off of Jaune.

"Could I talk to you privately, for a bit?" Ruby nodded, but didn't actually move until Jaune had walked out of sight around a corner. She turned to Blake.

"Of course. Would the dorm be okay?" Blake nodded, and the two headed there.

* * *

"So," Ruby started as she marched into the room, Blake following close behind, "What's up, Blake?"

The cat Faunus slowly closed the door behind her, pausing for a few moments before speaking up. "Not much, just curious to know how much you know about what happened yesterday." Blake decided to leave her comment vague enough to seem like she wasn't sure what Ruby had seen. Still, 'happy accident?' Ruby saw everything, that was clear.

"Why Blake, what happened yesterday?" Ruby replied with a coy smile. This was weird, Ruby wasn't normally like this.

"Come on. You told us off about it 10 minutes ago. You know what I'm talking about. The 'happy accident' of last night?"

In an instant, Ruby was right in her face. "You leave him alone, alright!? What happened was-!"

"Ruby! I know, I know! I wasn't going to bother him about it anymore." Just as quickly as before, Ruby was calming, folding her arms and rocking back onto the heels of her feet.

"Good." That had been kinda terrifying. Who knew Ruby could get so scary?

Blake gave a faux sheepish look, trying to hide a grin as she then added in a voice barely above a whisper, "I'm guessing you'll probably be pretty upset that I took pictures as well?"

At that admission, Ruby's silver eyes widened like dinner plates and once more, she was in Blake's face, but this time her expression wasn't one of righteous anger, but of eagerness and need. "You have pictures? How many? Did you get everything!? Can I see them? Please, please pleaaaaase!?"

The catgirl adopted a smirk, a gleam in her amber eyes. "Oh, so you did see everything then?"

Ruby gave a very fake laugh and scratched the back of her head. "W-what, no! I-I mean, not a very good look...a glance, really. So...maybe you could...send them to my scroll?"

"Uh-huh." Blake replied sarcastically, nodding slowly with the smirk still plastered on her lips. This proved it. Ruby had seen, and more importantly: she was interested. She wanted Jaune in a very unprofessional way.

Blake strode over to the desk and pulled out a chair. "Ruby Rose. Have a seat." Her leader had an expression somewhere between nervous and excited. "Relax. It's a good thing."

Blake walked around Ruby, hands behind her back. "You are entering a period that every woman encounters in her life: a period of Lust! And yet, you have no one to guide you, to provide you with insight and experience in this strange world."

"But Yang has-"

"As such, I will be your guide, your mentor in this strange new world! You will be... my Pervert Apprentice!" Blake stopped, posing with one hand on hip, and a finger pointed to the ceiling.

"Uh... thank you, Blake?" Blake chuckled.

"There's no need to thank me. I consider it a privilege to pass on my experience and wisdom to the next generation."

"I'm two years younger than-"

"OKAY!  _ **WHAT DID I JUST HEAR?!**_ " The door flew open, smoke rising from the steaming hinges. A thoroughly pissed off Yang entered the room, eyes red, hairing glowing, and Ember Celica fully deployed.

With a calmness the situation did not warrant, Ruby spoke up with, "Shouldn't you be in class, Yang?"

"Forget class! My partner is trying to corrupt my baby sister!"

"Nonononono, Yang! That wasn't what I was trying to deal at all!" Blake dove for her bed, searching underneath her pillow for something.

"Right! So the bit about 'Pervert Apprentice' was just you playing Bastilles and Beowulves, hunh? Maybe I should get Weiss, we can form a full party!"

"How do you know so much about B&B?!"

"Stop changing the subject!"

As the two argued, Blake slipped something into Ruby's hands, placing herself between the sisters so that Yang didn't see the exchange. Ruby held the book in her hands. It was weirdly colored. Mostly black, with fancy artistic stripes of red and purple across the cover.  _'Ninjas, hunh...?'_

* * *

_Sip._

It was a good day. Taiyang woke to the sounds of birds chirping (and not to that incessant raven that seemed to wake him up with constant crowing at the asscrack of dawn), he wasn't out of coffee for once, and he managed not to burn his eggs! With a newspaper, his omelette, a croissant and the sound of the Scroll television tuned to the news, the morning was shaping up to be a good one.

_Sip._

His hand gripped his favorite mug, a mug that Ruby had made for him when she had been in kindergarten. Sure, the handle was too big, the mug itself misshapen and she somehow managed to misspell the word 'Dad' on the writing of '#1 Dad' but he cherished it nonetheless. Not a day went by when he didn't drink from it. 'Hm. Let's see here...looks like the Mistral Falcons managed to advance in the Egg-tossing finals. Another Grimm invasion in the middle of the desert...Ooh, they're opening up an IHOP in Patch!' Taiyang continued to read the paper, sipping on his coffee, when suddenly, without warning, two things occurred. First, a shiver ran up his spine, like someone had stepped on his grave. The second, and more concerning thing was the handle of his mug suddenly snapping off, causing the coffee to spill onto his lap. The scruffy blond man barely registered the pain, his face growing pale.

"No...it...it's happening again!" He stood up so fast that it knocked the chair over, and he stared off into space, shaking like a leaf in the wind. "Ruby!"

* * *

**Omake: The Trap**

Yang had been smelling it all day. It was a familiar smell, something that called to her, resonated in her very soul. Now that she actually had a free period, she could devote the proper amount of time to finding it.

Her nose crinkled in the air of the dorms.  _Sniff... Sniff..._

It was definitely stronger here. She walked slowly through the corridor, sniffing deeply every few steps. Stronger...stronger...

She arrived at a familiar door. Wait, had someone seriously hidden it in her own dorm room? No...

She turned around, sniffing heartily.  _Here._

She pushed open the JNPR door, stepping in quietly. She could be pretty sneaky when she wanted to. She tip toed towards the bathroom, wincing as a floorboard squeaked.

It was harder to be quiet in the bathroom, but it didn't matter. The maple syrup smell was coming from here.

She inhaled deeply, and a broad smile extended across her face. "Home..."

There was a loud, bang, and she suddenly had a laundry basket over her head.

"Aha! Gotcha!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/N: So... that was a thing. Amazingly enough, Lefou and I actually managed to get out another chapter for you. Let me tell you, it's like pulling teeth with him. It doesn't help that our schedules are vastly different, so we're only able to work on stuff together an hour or two each day.
> 
> So, the comedy might have been better, might have been worse than Chapter 1. I honestly can't tell. But, I hope you enjoyed the jokes, the innuendos, and the foreshadowing.
> 
> The chapter was shorter than I normally like to write, at only ~2200 words, but I feel this is the kind of story where you'll want more frequent updates instead of bulky chapters.
> 
> L/N: Ta-da! A new chapter! A bit shorter than my usual work, but hey, this is a silly, bite sized idea. What will happen next? Will Taiyang save Ruby? Will Ruby even need saving? How will all of this backfire for Jaune? Why do Spooky and I enjoy tormenting the poor boy so much?
> 
> Don't ask me. I don't have answers.
> 
> (He only writes those questions to be sensationalist. And my only goal in life is getting Jaune laid, don't call my writing 'torment'.)


	3. De-Jaune Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taiyang is concerned about Ruby's new behavior, as history begins to repeat itself.

"...and you're  _sure_ that Ruby hasn't been involved in anything...erm…" the voice on the other end of the Scroll trailed off, ending in a nervous mix between a cough, a clearing of the throat, and a  _hmmm_  noise.

Yang sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Dad,  _relax_. I've been keeping a close eye on Ruby. There was a...close call about a day or two ago, and an issue with my partner-" Yang affixed Blake's form with a glare as she spoke, " -But everything's been taken care of."

"I see, I see…" Taiyang murmured. He paused, then added, "What is she doing now?"

The buxom brawler turned to see Ruby on the top bunk, smiling at a book of '1001 Fables.' "She's just reading some old fairytales dad. I'm telling you, everything's fine." Actually, it was kinda weird. Ruby had always liked that book, but the way she was reading it now was... weird. Like,  _really_ weird. Ruby's eyes were huge, and reading so fast that it was a surprise the pages weren't smoking.

"Is the stork thing still going?" Yang held the scroll to her neck and called to her sister.

"Ruby! Where do babies come from?"

Without looking up, Ruby replied "A woman's vagina."

Yang, smiled and brought the scroll back to her face. "See? Everything's fi-" Wait. Yang looked back up to see Ruby glaring at her.

"I'm 15, not 7, Yang."

Yang gave a noise suspiciously similar to the one her father made earlier before turning her attention back to the Scroll. "Okay, a small speed bump, but still, nothing to worry about. Seriously, Ruby is as pure as the newly fallen snow...or Weiss, whichever you prefer."

Taiyang gave a sigh of relief. "Good, good."

"Not that I'm complaining about wanting to protect Ruby, but you seem a little...over concerned, dad." Yang murmured, switching her gaze from her scroll to Ruby and back, her lips turning downward slightly at Ruby's odd behavior. Was she... _panting_? Nah, couldn't be. That blush in her cheeks had to have been just a trick of the light, right? It was just a book of fairytales, not one of Blake's smut dictionaries. Speaking of her secretly lewd partner…

Yang blinked and affixed Blake with a hard gaze. Said resident cat-faunus was ignoring her, instead choosing to exchange enigmatic smiles with Ruby who looked far too pleased, as if they were sharing some sort of in joke. All of it sat unwell with Yang. "Anyway, dad, I'll keep you up to date with what's going on. Promise. Love you dad."

"Love you too. Give Ruby my love."

"Will do."

Taiyang sighed as the scroll clicked shut. Yang misunderstood; he wasn't worried about Ruby, but rather her potential  _partner._ He knew enough about her mother to know that  _The Turning Point_  was inevitable, Ruby would gain an interest in boys, and once the process started, it would hit  _hard_ and  _fast_.

The same thing had happened with her mother. His eyes widened and a shiver ran up and down his spine as he remembered;

" _Um...S-summer? Honey? When you said you wanted to experiment…" Taiyang struggled against ropes that bound him to the chair. He looked up into the sweetly smiling face of his new wife, her silver eyes crinkled in an affectionate and fond smile. It was a sharp contrast to what she was wearing, which was something he'd only seen worn in some of the more...racy scroll videos Raven had on her personal scroll, all leather and showing off body parts improper for public viewing. "...this isn't what I thought you meant."_

_Summer approached, hips swaying and she leaned in for a searing kiss. "Shhh, shhh. Taiyang, honey. Just relax. I promise…"_

" _ **I'll be gentle…"**_

She had been lying. Taiyang blinked and looked down at his trousers. ' _Damn it! Stop that! Not now!_ ' Even if he had ended up enjoying it, his and Summer's first time had been surprisingly...  _intense_. He hadn't expected someone with so little experience and someone so sweet sounding to go out and buy a whip for their first time. Not to mention that after the fact, Summer had been so instant on constant love-making that it was nothing short of a miracle that Ruby was the  _only_ child he had with her.

 _That_ was why he had to make these preparations. Ruby was approaching  _The Turning Point,_  if she hadn't gotten there already, and without her mother there to help her (well, help the chosen boy, rather) the responsibility fell to him. He needed Yang to hold off as much as possible while he traveled to Beacon.

But he could hardly tell Yang that. No one wants to think of their parents in that way, and she probably wouldn't believe him in any case. No, best to leave her in the dark for now. He needed to prepare himself... where did he leave his climbing hook?

* * *

Yang sighed as the scroll clicked shut. Seriously, she loved her dad, but this was nothing to get worried about. Sure, Ruby has been in the same room as an exposed dick past the age of 4, and her partner  _might_ have been trying to turn her onto the path of darkness, but everything was fine now, right?

She smiled up at her sister. Look at her, with her book of fairy tales and her big grin and her heaving breaths and her hooded eyes and her-

Wait... Where was Ruby's other hand...? She shrugged. It was probably nothing. Yang's attention went back to her homework, ignoring the silly look on her younger sister's face. She, however, missed the look of approval upon Blake's face as the cat faunus looked over. The raven haired beauty opened up her own scroll surreptitiously and her fingers quickly brushed across the holographic screen…

_Now sending ..._

* * *

Jaune shivered. "What?" He looked to Ren, who stared back with upraised eyebrow.

"Nothing, I just- I never understood the phrase 'someone walking on my grave' before right now." Another chill, worse. Ren rolled his eyes.

"I'll ignore the third grade drama and simply remind you that you're probably worrying over nothi-" Ren began, but was cut off mid-sentence by a noise that seemed to shake the very walls of their dorm.

"Aha!" One red-cheeked, out-of-breath, gleeful-looking Pyrrha Nikos stood in their doorway, dread Finger of Accusation™ pointed solidly at Jaune. After a moment, her expression fell into one of Utmost Despair™.

"He finished fifteen minutes ago," Nora's voice rose from her bed, somehow aware of the situation despite enormous headphones.

"Nooooo" Pyrrha stomped over, collapsing onto her bed. Nothing was fair in the world anymore.

"I finished wha-?" Jaune was interrupted by Ren reaching over and touching a lock of his hair, still damp from the shower. "Ren, what are you-"

"Nora, you're not very timely with your information, are you?"

A break in the frustrated screams as Pyrrha cried into her pillow, "I was talking to my agent!"

"See? Not my fault."

"Guys! What are we talking about?!"

His team ignored him.

* * *

Yang was not usually one to have nightmares. She usually slept too deeply. So it was with a certain amount of disbelief and incredulity that she found herself waking up with a jolt. She sat upright in the dark for a few moments, blinking bleary eyed as she attempted to ascertain why she'd been awoken so suddenly, when a strange noise from her sister's bed caught her attention. Yang wasn't fully awake, so her mind wasn't fully realizing what was going on, just that there was some panting noises, small squeaks and little moans.

The blond buxom brawler turned her tired gaze upon her sister's bed, only to see the little reaper laying face down, with her rear up in the air, her face illuminated by the light of her scroll. Her cheeks were flushed nearly as red as her cloak, and her hands…

Yang's eyes suddenly snapped wide open as realization hit her.

"This isn't real...this isn't real..." Weiss had buried her face into her pillow, wrapping around her head, apparently to no avail. A glance below her own bed revealed a red-faced Blake, hands twitching towards the hem of her dress-pajamas-thing.

Yang jumped out of bed and rushed over to Ruby's bunk, her hand flying forth to grab the scroll, ignoring her sister's cry of frustration. Yang looked down at the scroll in her hands, and froze for a few moments, her figure shaking slightly. The room quickly lit up brightly however, when Yang, with a deep growl, subconsciously activated her Semblance, bursting into flames…

" **JAAAAAAUUUUNE!** "

* * *

Yang wouldn't be the only one awaking with a jolt that evening, as the thunderous cry of his name had Jaune shooting upright in his bed, looking around frantically to see where the source of the noise was coming from. Evidently, he hadn't been the only one to have heard it either, as Pyrrha, Nora and shockingly enough,  _Ren_ of all people were all stirring from their slumber. "Whassat?" Jaune slurred, mind still absent from sleep.

Pyrrha started to open her mouth, her own expression mirroring her internal confusion, when suddenly the door to Team JNPR's dorm literally burst off of it's hinges, revealing a burning Yang, her eyes blood red and narrowed. Everyone recoiled in shock as Yang stomped toward Jaune, shoving a scroll in his face. " **EXPLAIN!** "

Jaune blinked a few times, leaning back to get a good glimpse of whatever it was that had set off Yang's ire at...3 in the morning? His gaze flickered back from his bedside clock to the scroll in Yang's hand, realization slowly setting in at the familiar image before him. "S-s-s- _someone took a picture of that?!_ " His voice squeaked in horror and embarrassment. Pyrrha, suddenly realizing what the picture must have been, scrambled out of bed and actually tripped over her own sheets, but before she could catch even a glimpse, Yang had crushed the scroll in her hand, while the other shot out and grabbed Jaune by the neck.

" **YOU'VE CORRUPTED MY SISTER, YOU BASTARD!** " Yang growled as she picked Jaune up, who suddenly found himself flailing in a panic.

Normally, Lie Ren would have been too tired to have done anything, but upon the sight of his leader, friend and 'brother from another mother,' (if he could be forgiven for using such a term) in mortal danger, his brain went into overdrive and he quickly rushed over. "Wait! Wait, wait! Yang, slow down! What are you talking about?! Ruby is corrupted, how?!"

Yang paused, her hair dimming, eyes shifting, and gaze expanding in horrified realization. "Dad..." Jaune fell to the ground in a confused heap. She suddenly turned on her heel and rushed back out the door, her expression now filled with panic.

Blake and Weiss fell through the shattered door, tired beyond belief. Without bothering to get up, Weiss mumbled, "Someone took pictures of the incident from the other day. Ruby saw them, and is currently...using them."

Blake refused to make eye contact with anyone. With a spark of realization, Pyrrha, still tangled in her sheets, inch-wormed her way over to the collapsed team mates.

"Blake."

"No."

"Please! I'll do anything!"

Exasperated, Weiss buried her face into the carpet of the floor. "I refuse to be a part of this conversation."

"Blake, I have more lien than I know what to do with! I'll pay you-!"

As reluctant, one-sided bargaining ensued, Nora turned to her partner. "I don't see what the big deal is. So Ruby started masturbating, so what? I do that all the time!" There was a choking noise from where Ren was standing, and Nora looked over to see him clutching his nose in an attempt to stem a sudden stream of blood that had started abruptly trickling down. "Renny-bear? Are you... _nosebleeding_?"

Ren, doing his best to remain calm, shook his head. "N-no. No, I am not."

"You're totally picturing me doing it, aren't you?" Nora's expression was the very embodiment of a 'cat-smile,' ending her question with a giggle.

"No I'm not! I don't even know what we've been talking about for the past five minutes!" Ren looked over to Jaune, who was massaging his throat, affixing his friend with a silent plea for help.

"Who-kay!" Jaune stood, clapping his hands and the room falling (mostly) silent.

"600!" Blake shushed a desperate Pyrrha.

"As entertaining as this has been, I'm going to bed."

"But Jaune-!"

"No buts!" Nora fell silent, pouting in frustration. "If you wake me up, Nora, I'm revoking pancake rights for a month!"

"Jaune, you can't reall-"

"And if  _you_ wake me up, I'm putting you on Nora-cleanup-duty for a month!" Ren paled and fell silent as well.

"And Pyrrha!" The girl perked up, as much as one can in a sheet-cocoon, and Blake could've sworn she heard her gasp "give it to me!"

However, Jaune seemed at something of a loss to say. "Just, be quiet please." Pyrrha's face joined Weiss' in thumping into the carpeted floor, just as Jaune turned and collapsed into bed.

* * *

"Yang, don't you think you're taking things a bit too far?"

Ruby was ignored as her older sister grabbed her scroll and began to dial a number.

"Yang, come on! And where's my scroll?"

Without even looking at her younger sister, Yang simply murmured, "I destroyed that evil thing."

Ruby's eyes widened, watering slightly. "N-nooo! My pictures!"

The called person responded quickly, after only the first couple of rings. "H-hello?" The sleepy tones of Taiyang Xiao Long answered, his image blinking tiredly. "Yang? Honey? What's wrong? It's three in the morni-"

Yang quickly cut him off. "Dad, we have an emergency.  _That_ happened."

It took a couple of moments for Taiyang's sleep addled brain to put two and two together. "Wait, That or  _That_?"

Yang, not wanting Ruby to interrupt her, walked out into the hallway, shutting the door on Ruby who was still whining about the loss of her pictures. " _That_ , dad. She had some pictures of a fellow team captain's...thing."

Taiyang's face went pale. "Oh god no, this is happening way too fast! Yang, do your best to keep Ruby and…" He trailed off.

"Jaune." Yang muttered darkly.

"Ruby and Jaune. Keep them separated for as long as you can."

Yang cracked her knuckles. "I can keep them separated  _permanently_ -"

" _NO!_ " Taiyang shouted, causing Yang to jump in surprise. "I-I mean, no. I'm sure Ruby would be devastated if she loses this boy of hers. Just keep an eye on them and if Ruby tries anything, separate them."

"Don't you mean if  _Jaune_ does anything?" Yang's query was answered only with the sound of her father laughing almost hysterically, before he hung up on her, leaving her in the hallway with a look somewhere crossed between confused and worried. She sighed and turned back to her dorm, opening the door and walking in…

...Only to see Ruby once again in the face down, rear up position she was earlier, squeaking and moaning, smiling from ear to ear and her hands down the waistband of her pants.

" _RUBY!_ "

* * *

Taiyang sighed, wiping a tear from his eye. "As if she'll give him the chance."

He sobered, quickly. As entertaining as Yang's ignorance was, he had to get to Beacon as quickly as possible. A boy's life depended on it. As he put together a bag, he pulled out his scroll, making a quick call.

"It's time. The Beast has awoken..."

...

...

"You're a fucking idiot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/N: Guess who's back? Back again? Okay, I really shouldn't say that every time we post a chapter or when I beta for someone. Yes, it's been a long time, yes we're still alive, etc.
> 
> This chapter was... interesting to write. We deviated a couple times from the outline we have stashed away (no you can't have it), and went back to make changes. My writing still feels cold and predictable to me, but Lefou's is fresh enough that I think the chapter wasn't too awful.
> 
> And to answer your three questions: Yes, Pyrrha will still be trying to see Jaune naked, yes, she will be foiled, and yes... we will see her as a caterpillar again.
> 
> L/N: Phew, another chapter done and out. I've been a little slow myself, what with the usual winter malaise rearing its ugly head, but I don't want to disappoint both my fans, AND Spooky's fans, so we got together and cranked out another chapter of hilarious Ruby pervyness (perversion :3). Hopefully the next chapter won't take TOO long to come out, but we'll do what we can.
> 
> Signing off for now, this is LaughingLefou


	4. Intensity Intensifies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby's escalates her advances, and Yang calls her uncle.

Jaune always knew that he wasn't exactly the brightest tool in the bunch...or however that saying went. He wasn't  _stupid_ per say, but when it came to certain topics, they just flew right overhead. For instance, he could name every one of his Arc forebearers for generations and what they were known for off the top of his head, give you their life stories, and even tell you what their favorite pancake topping was. (Why that information had passed through the ages was a mystery even to him, but he committed it to memory anyway.) When his sisters tried to teach him how to notice subtle changes in a girl's appearance so he could notice and compliment them, however, he was clueless.

So when the young man exited his dorm the next morning, (much to his shock, Pyrrha was still asleep in her blanket cocoon on the floor) it would have been an understatement to say that he was confused to see a group of older students, all female at the end of the hall, pointing, giggling and most confusing of all,  _blushing_?

Jaune looked down at himself to make sure he hadn't accidentally walked out the door in his footie pajamas again, or heaven forbid, forget his pants and cause a reiteration of the disaster a few nights previous. He was completely dressed. In fact, he dared say that he looked pretty damn good for not having Pyrrha's help to tie his tie. He looked back up at the gaggle of school girls, only to catch one of them winking at him and sashaying away. He blinked in confusion once more, and scratched his head. That was…odd.

His stomach grumbled and he shrugged. Whatever was going on, he was sure it wasn't important. Maybe people were just screwing with him. Yeah, that had to be it. It was an occurrence that he'd encountered one too many times. For now, breakfast was required, and seeing how the rest of JNPR was still asleep, that meant only one thing.

He could finally eat some damn pancakes for once.

The Beacon Academy mess hall... or was it a cafeteria...? Whatever it was called, it was lively, to say the least. Several pockets of girls were spaced around the room. There weren't many, and they weren't very large, but they were noticeable. Occasionally, someone would run from one group to the next, and a minor explosion of excited whisperes would begin anew. Was there some sort of dance going on soon?

He honestly had no idea what could get so many women so excited at once, but  _not_ excite the guys as well. They get ready for dances too. Weird.

He looked to the usual spot to see that RWBY hadn't shown up either. To be perfectly honest, he felt fine with that. After Yang flying off the handle last night, and the rest of her team being less than helpful, he wasn't too put out at not seeing them.

He made his way over to the line, and was confused at the sour glares he got from the guys around him. What  _was_ going on? He grabbed some pancakes, thanking whatever gods convinced Nora to sleep in today, and made his way over to his spot, sitting in his seat more out of habit than anything else. No one else was there, he could sit where Yang did, or Ruby, or Ren...

His ferociously rebellious thoughts were interrupted by a hearty cough. He looked up, his mouth full of pancake, to meet the mocha eyes of Coco Adel. Her eyes gleamed with predatory excitement before being concealed behind dark shades.

"Hey Jaune."

"Hey Coco..."

CFVY had fought alongside them at the Breach, so it wasn't like they were perfect strangers, but none of the upperclassman had talked to them... pretty much ever. He'd seen Coco talking with RWBY, probably to congratulate them, but other than that, he hadn't ever really met her or her teammates.

"So Jaune..." She stepped up onto the bench and sat on the table, facing him as she traced a finger down his arm. In her carelessness, she had given Jaune something of a view down her shirt, and he hurriedly looked away. Getting pummeled for ogling first thing in the morning was  _not_ on his to-do list for today.

He kept his eyes fixed on his breakfast, but looked to her when she gave a dissatisfied cough. She had straightened, which was good, and her expression brightened when she saw he was looking at her.

He mentally chided himself.  _'Girls want you to pay attention when they talk to you.'_

"We're friends, right Jaune?" Oh no, he knew where this was going.

He turned back to his plate, scowling. "I'm not doing anyone's homework."

She laughed for a moment. "No, I meant like  _actual_ friends."

He didn't buy it. "No, not really. I think this is the first time we've talked."

She looked crestfallen, as if he had told her that her wardrobe had been set on fire.

"That's awful. I try to make friends with the underclassman. They're going on to save the world, and you can never go wrong with a few extra friends, right?"

That sounded... familiar. And nice. There was nothing wrong with being friends with more people. His scowl faded.

"Sure, yeah. That sounds like a cool thing to do."

"Right!" Coco sat down on the bench next to him, facing out towards the cafeteria. She scooted in closer, and he was immediately hit with the smell of vanilla. She put a hand on his knee underneath the table.

"So Jaune, I was wondering if you and I could be friends. Or at least, get to know each other better, you know?"

' _Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.'_  Coco was an acquaintance, just one degree shy of stranger, but he would love more friends.

"Sure, that sounds great."

"Wonderful." Her mouth caressed the words, and she bit her lip for a bit, the full shade caught before being released. "How would you like to come into town with me today?"

"I'd have to check with my team first, but-"

"I meant-" and she scooted closer, her hand scooted just a little bit up his thigh "-more... just you and me. Well, just you, anyway. I'd like to get to know you before your team. After all, the leader is a window into the group."

"Didn't you just say you wanted more friends?"

She let out a peal of laughter, and he was hit again with the smell. She was sitting very close...

"I don't mean I don't  _want_ to meet your team, silly. Just to get to know you first."

Okay, that made more sense.

"Sure, that sounds fine."

"Awesome! Your last class gets out at 2 today, so I'll meet up then and we can head out, yeah?" She had started to talk a little faster. She sounded excited, eager... hungry.

"Yeah." Wait... how did she know his schedule?

"How do you feel about casual sex?" an accented voice spoke from his other side.

He whirled around, choking on a bit of pancake, his vision filled with darker brown eyes. "Ah, Velvet! You scared me." There was no way he heard her right, right? Man, this morning had him so confused he was hearing what had to obviously be impossible.

"Damnit Velvet, I said I would handle this!" Coco hissed from behind him. She placed a hand on his shoulder, bringing his attention back to her. "Sorry about that, Velvet's got an odd sense of humor. Now, I figure the two of us can grab a bite to eat, see Vale's sights, and when we get back maybe, ah...spar?"

Jaune took another bite of pancake and swallowed it, cocking one eyebrow. "I'd like to, but seeing as how you're a year ahead of me...you'd utterly wreck me."

Coco smiled, but it wasn't a pleasant smile, at least not to Jaune's perspective. It felt more like a predator smiling at him than a friend and a shiver ran up his back. Come to think of it, her hand was riding a bit high up his thigh, wasn't it? Wait, who's hand was that on his other thigh- Velvet?! "Don't worry, Jaune. I promise, I'll be gentle."

Jaune sat silently for a few seconds before adding, "Don't really see how you'll do that. I mean you've got a freakin' Gatling Gun and all I've got is…"

"Your sword?" Velvet helpfully added, sounding a little  _too_ chipper.

Jaune frowned. "Um...yeah."

Coco's smile only grew. "You know, I bet Velvet would  _love_ to get see your sword as well."

"...Are we even having the same conversation here?" Jaune queried, the entirety of the situation becoming too surreal even for him. He hadn't even been awake for more than an hour and a half and this nonsense was bearing down on him?

The sound of someone clearing their throat snapped everyone's attention behind the three of them. Standing there, arms on hips, with an oddly displeased look on her face, was one Ruby Rose. "Coco. Velvet. Is something going on?"

Jaune, for once displaying self preservation tactics, immediately began to scan the room for Ruby's sister, massaging his throat in subconscious remembrance of the events of the night previous. What had Yang said, something about corrupting Ruby? He'd done no such thing! Coco's voice snapped him out of his paranoia-fueled reverie. "Just...making friends. You wouldn't want to hog Jaune all to yourself, would you?"

As Coco finished her sentence, Jaune could have  _sworn_ he heard Velvet add, "Not that you'd know what to do with him," under her breath.

If she had, Ruby didn't hear, or at least didn't appear to. "I'm sure he appreciates it. However, I'd like to have a bit of talk with my fellow leader."

"Oh?" Coco raised an eyebrow, her expression mostly unreadable behind her shades. "Did you forget I'm a leader too?"

"Alone?" Ruby added, tapping her foot.

The entire time, Jaune was starting to get a little nervous. Growing up around seven sisters, he was used to being around numerous females, but he also had a sort of sixth (or knowing his disaster sense, seventh) sense that could tell him when things were getting tense between women, and the tension in the air was palpable. To make matters worse, Jaune really couldn't get up and run as Coco and Velvet had yet to remove their hands from his thighs. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he'd swear that their hands were getting a little  _too_ close to Jaune Jr. for his liking. All he could really do was sit there, sweating nervously as Ruby and Coco stared at one another. "Oh, don't worry," Coco waved her other hand nonchalantly. "We'll bring him back in one piece. He'll be fine. A bit tired, maybe."

"A lot tired, actually." Velvet added in, with Coco quickly shushing her.

"Now!"

Jaune didn't think he would ever hear Ruby yell. Squeak in frustration, maybe, but Ruby  _yelled,_ her voice ringing throughout the room. Velvet flinched and rubbed at her ears, her hand finally leaving Jaune's leg. Coco stood up, towering over Ruby and glowering down at her.

"Alright Rose. We'll give you your 'word'. But you can't keep him to yourself. You really think such a little girl could handle all of that?" Coco smirked, and continued "You're not ready. But we are."

Ruby didn't bend. She stared at Coco, right through those dark shades, and almost hissed "Leave." Coco shrugged, and strutted away.

"We'll be waiting," she called back, and Velvet followed behind her, gesturing between her eyes and Ruby. Ruby turned and followed them as they walked away, the rest of the cafeteria staring at Ruby in surprise at her earlier forceful command. The innocent little cinnamon bun getting angry at someone? What had that been about?

Jaune on the other hand was frozen to his seat, eyes wide in terror. What the absolute hell was going on? What was with Ruby? As if he were the starring role in a horror movie, Ruby suddenly turned on her heel, her face all smiles and sunshine. "Sorry you had to see that, Jaune." The red reaper skipped forward and practically jumped into the seat vacated by Coco. Jaune barely had time to register her presence before she leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder. Perhaps in any other given situation, Jaune would have found it adorable. He'd be lying if he said she wasn't attractive in a cute way, but after everything that had been going on, all he could think of was that Yang would kill him if she saw her sister leaning on him like this. He slowly turned his head to the side to see Ruby's big silver eyes staring up at him. His heart skipped a beat.

"Uh-um, R-ruby, don't you think you're...ahem… a bit close?" Jaune stuttered. His eyes flickered away, but kept finding himself coming back to Ruby's face.

The young girl pouted. "You don't want me to be here?"

Jaune's heart skipped another beat.  _Damn those eyes! Those things are damn near hypnotic!_  "N-no! No, no, no, I-I like spending time with you!"

Ruby's expression lit up and for the second time in one week, the reaper embraced him tightly, burying her face into his side. "I love spending time with you too, Jaune! You know, I don't think we hang out often enough…"

Jaune scratched the back of his head and looked up. He almost winced. Men around the room were glaring at him, and the girls...his eyebrows knitted together. Were they glaring at Ruby? Nah, they had to be glaring at him. He grimaced. Great. The entire cafeteria wanted him dead now. He had to get away before Yang showed up. "S-say, Ruby, a-as much as I'd like to spend more time with you I...ah…" Jaune's mind raced. "I need to...uh...see a man about a dog." He finished lamely, using a phrase oft used by his own father.

Ruby looked back up at him, smiling widely. "Can I join!? I love dogs!"

Jaune felt like facepalming. This was bad. "No, Ruby, it's just a phrase."

She looked crestfallen. "What does it mean?"

"It just means I need to go to the bathroom."

She perked up, and held a hand in front of her mouth. Was she smiling?

"I could come with you anyways, in case you get lost."

He flushed, and protested "That happened once! In the first week of school!"

"Second."

"First!" He stared at her, incredulous, but she was still cackling behind her hand.

"Second!"

"It was not!"

"It totally was!" She threw his arms around her shoulders and laughed into his arm. "I remember because you ordered all those books, and they took so long to get here."

"Oh... well, Beacon's a big place!"

She pulled her face away from his sleeve and pushed it into his, grinning smugly. "So you want me to accompany you to the bathroom?"

He rolled his eyes and shoved her away, standing up from the bench. "I don't know if you should navigate me anywhere. You're too short to read any of the signs."

Ruby stood as well, her cheeks puffed in mock outrage. "Listen, mister!" She poked him in the chest. "At least I'm not breaking door frames everywhere I go! How's the weather up there, by the way? Any birds made a nest out of your messy hair yet?"

Mock insult after mock insult, her hand pulled lower down his body, until it hooked into the front of his jeans and pulled him closer.

He yelped, searching desperately for Yang. There was no way she could see him with her sister's hand down his pants. Beacon didn't cover the price of caskets.

His head darted to Ruby and her other arm wrapped around his waist, and she somehow stepped even  _closer_ to him. She bit her lip, looking up at him. "You sure you don't want me to come?" Her silver eyes almost seemed to sparkle.

He gulped, hiding his nervousness in a laugh. "I'm just going to take a pee, Ruby."

Ruby's eyes shone for a moment, before her face fell and she stepped away. "Fine. I'll see you when you get back."

Jaune nodded, and stepped away, heading to the doors leading outside. Ruby had been oddly touching. From grabbing his waist band, to rubbing her hands over him.

He snapped his fingers, a light bulb going off in his head. He'd gotten new fabric softener! He nodded his head, all right with the world.

* * *

"Come on..." Yang dialed for the third time, biting her thumbnail and pacing around the dorm.

"Yang, we're going to be late for classes." She waved Weiss off, the heiress scoffing and closing the door behind her.

Something was very  _very_ wrong, and her dad wasn't doing anything about it. There was only one other person she could go to.

"What?"

"Qrow!"

A pause, and then "Junebug?"

"Listen, there's something going on with Ruby. Sheaccidentallysawaboy'sdick and then shestartedmasturbating andIdon'tevenknowwhereshelearnedtodothatbecauseIsureashelldidn'tteachher, and whenhetalkedtodad,hedidn'tsoundmadatall, hejusttoldmetowaitforhim, butIthinkthisboymightbetryingtotakeadvantageofher, and I KNOW I'vealreadygivenherthetalk, but I'mnotreallysurewhattodocouldyoupleasecomehelpme?"

...

"All I heard was that a boy might be taking advantage of Ruby?"

Yang nodded, her finger clenched between her teeth and hair bouncing wildly.

"Yang?"

"Yeah?"

"Is someone trying to do something to Ruby?"

"I just said yes!"

"No you didn't, you just went silent for a second."

"What?"

"What?"

"Ugh, nevermind." She heard shuffling. Qrow was probably getting out of bed. "I'll come to Beacon, kick his ass, and-"

"Wait!" Yang switched hands, gnawing on her other thumb as she grimaced. "I'm not... totally sure. I mean, I don't  _know._  And that's scary. I just... want your help in figuring stuff out. Could you come?"

There was silence on the other end as Qrow nodded. "Qrow?"

"Yeah?"

"So, are you coming?"

"Yeah, I just said I would."

"No you didn't! You just went quiet."

Qrow snarled and hung up.

* * *

**Omake: Pyrrha's Quest**

Pyrrha was definitely a tournament fighter. But beyond even that... she was a huntress. She stalked her prey, tracked it across deserts and seas until she could corner it and capture or eliminate it.

Right now, she had tracked it to the JNPR bathroom. She froze as the water turned off. Any second now...She held her breath as she approached the door and very gently attempted to turn the knob. Locked. She smirked. It was cute how Jaune thought that a simple lock, a simple  _metal_ lock could stop her from finding her prey. She reached out with her semblance, subtly manipulating the small inner mechanisms of the lock that protected Jaune from her prying eyes. Once she was certain she'd moved the lock out of place, she waited for a few minutes more, heart pounding in her chest. Her hand tightened around the brass knob, she licked her lips and with one fast, fluid movement, threw the door wide open. "Oh, Jaune, I'm sorry, I didn't...know...you were…" Her voice trailed off as she noticed that Jaune was wearing a large, thick, blue bathrobe.

"Oh, Pyrrha! Nah, it's fine, I was just finished anyway. Thought I locked the door, but guess I didn't…" Jaune murmured.

Pyrrha bit her lip. Damn it! He never had a bathrobe before! She mentally slapped herself. No. She was  _not_ going to give up so easily! If Blake, and Yang and Weiss and even  _Ruby_ of all people could see Jaune's...other blade, than so should she! Thinking fast Pyrrha moved forward only to 'accidentally' trip and fall forward, her hand outstretched to grab ahold of Jaune's robe to pull it off of him. Her eyes lit up as she grasped his robe and with one fluid yank, pulled it down off of his shoulders and down to the floor. Eagerly, her eyes lit up and she looked back up, hoping to catch a glimpse of her prey and…

A towel. Not just any towel, but an insanely large towel that might as well have been the size of a circus tent folded across his waist. Pyrrha almost gave a cry of pure frustration as she saw it. Jaune, thankfully, assumed the best of Pyrrha and quickly extended a hand. "Pyrrha! Are you okay?" He grasped her hand and for a few moments, Pyrrha was at peace with the world. He was holding her hand. Pyrrha's face burned bright red as he hoisted her to her feet.

"I-I-I'm fine! Really!" Pyrrha managed to squeak out.

Jaune laughed. "Man, Pyrrha, normally  **I'm** the clumsy one."

Pyrrha's face burned even more red, almost matching her hair color. "I...I must just be still tired." Already, her mind was racing as she attempted to figure out how she might be able to get away with taking off Jaune's next obstacle between her and 'Jaune Jr.'

"Well, let's get you out of here; we don't need you tripping and hitting your head on the sink." Jaune gently began to push Pyrrha out of the rest room. Pyrrha, thinking fast, proceeded to 'slip' and fall backward against him, subtly using her hand to unfasten his towel in mid fall and fell onto her bottom with an 'oof!' Immediately her head snapped up the moment she hit the ground to see what should have been the most glorious sight to behold just above and over her shoulder…

Only to be met with another towel. It was the perfect time for an awkward duck quack noise in Pyrrha's opinion. How many towels was the boy wearing?! This was unfair! Jaune gave a laugh. "Man, good thing I'm wearing multiple towels. Don't want a repeat of what happened the other day, that's for certain."

Pyrrha gave an inaudible whimper. This however quickly died when Jaune, much to her shock, knelt down and picked her up, princess-style. Pyrrha's eyes snapped wide open with surprise. "Come on, Pyrrha. Let's get you back to bed. If you're tripping over yourself this much this early, maybe you need more sleep."

"Wha-n-no! I-I mean I'm fine and-" Pyrrha stammered and tried to get her bearings, but Jaune had already exited the bathroom and brought her to her bed, placing her into her bed gently.

"Nonsense. Pyrrha, you're always up before any of us. It's the weekend, and you should get to sleep too." He grasped her blanket and moved it over her, Pyrrha's mouth opening and closing quietly as she found herself torn. On one hand she  _really_ wanted to see Jaune's 'Excalibur!' On the other hand, he was tucking her into bed, something so incredibly cute and endearing coming from the normally thick boy, that she couldn't say no to his kind gesture. "Now you stay there. I'm gonna finish getting changed in the restroom and get some breakfast."

As he turned away Pyrrha's hand reached out, in an attempt to pull off the last remaining towel off of Jaune's hips, already planning on using the excuse of trying to catch his attention for the reason behind her actions, but when she grasped ahold of the towel and managed to loosen it enough to pull it off of him, she noticed something that took the wind right out of her sails.

Little bigger than a small pair of shorts, was one last towel wrapped around his waist. Pyrrha whimpered and lay back, slumping half out of her bed.

This was so unfair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/N: Horray! Another chapter bites the...bytes? Hz? Iunno. Whatever chapters bite when they're done because this one is! Booyah!
> 
> As always, the humor is meant to be absurdist, silly, and a little bit dirty in places. We got a couple comments that the story was becoming a little racey, describing a girl frigging herself, and so I tried to tone it down a little bit for this chapter. You guys are right, this isn't gonna turn into smut, and that line is something we need to stay aware of.
> 
> L/N: Here we are again! That's right! I know I have tons of other work myself, but I've been having a slog getting through my own work, so I figured the least I could do was to partner up with Spooky here and present another chapter of perverted insanity. Hope this will tide you all over until our next update, and with any luck, that shouldn't take too long. Signing off for now, this is LaughingLefou.
> 
> Omake: LaughingLefou


	5. Final Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yang and Pyrrha try to interfere with Ruby and Jaune's 'hangout', and Ruby takes the plunge.

Friday.

He felt terrible about it, but if he was being completely honest, he was dreading this day. At the beginning of the week, the idea of hanging out with his friend Ruby would have been something to be excited for, but after how oddly Ruby had been acting, he was starting to get worried. It didn't help that Yang kept shooting him murderous looks through the entire week. Couple that with how fellow male students also were giving him glares, and girls kept giggling and winking at him, and confusion and anxiety were the only way he could feel when he woke up on Friday. Maybe he could convince Ruby that today was a bad day. Maybe he could tell her he was sick? If all else fails, he could convince Nora to break his legs and...no, no, that's a last resort.

He stood at the door to JNPR's dorm and drew his lips into a thin line. Was there no way to get out of it? He could just 'coincidentally' forget that he and Ruby were to hang out today. She would understand, she was forgiving like that. Even as he thought it, doubt wriggled in his mind. If he'd thought that a week ago, he might have believed it, but right now...He didn't want to use the word, but Ruby seemed a little...possessive. She sat really close at lunch, and shared classes. And she glared at anyone who came too close when she thought he wasn't looking. Inwardly he groaned. Girls were a strange and mysterious creature, that much he knew just from living with his sisters. Ruby, however? That was an enigma that he didn't think he'd be any closer to solving.

And it totally wasn't because he was in denial.

He shook his head, took a deep breath and steeled himself. He'd just leave the dorm room, make his way to the cafeteria, grab some food and come back to the dorm. If he didn't run into Ruby, then no harm, no foul. He'd just say something to her like he'd forgotten and she'd be alright with it. Feeling a little more confident in his plan, Jaune swung the door open and-

"Hey Jaune!" Silver eyes stared happily up at him as their owner bounced on the balls of her feet, hands clasped behind her back; the very picture of innocence.

"R-Ruby!" Jaune choked, shocked and thoroughly caught off guard.

"You ready?" Ruby asked cheerfully.

Jaune allowed himself a moment of respite, clutching at his chest and bending over slightly, not expecting Ruby to be standing right at the door. "Y-yeah, sorry 'bout that. You just scared me."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Ruby apologized, seemingly genuine. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't forget our leader da-er, get together!" She quickly continued, ignoring the near slip of her tongue.

Oh come on! Jaune internally whined. If he didn't know any better, he'd swear that Ruby could read his mind. Either that, or the more obvious answer, the universe was, once again, screwing with him.

"Sooooo... wanna head to the common room? I don't want our friends busting in on our special together-time."

Jaune shrugged, scratching at the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess. You wouldn't want them knowing about any future... parties? Were we planning parties?"

"Suuuuuuuuuuuure, partiiiiiiiiiies..." Ruby someone managed to shrug in a larger circle than her shoulders should have allowed. The physics of her non-commitiality were baffling.

Were he a smarter man, or perhaps one more willing to read between the lines, Jaune might have found her behavior suspicious, only adding to the mounting tension he faced involving her more recent behavior. However, he was neither of these things, so he simply shrugged, ignored the little niggling feeling in the back of his head, and stepped out into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. "So, ladies first?"

She looked around, before giggling and latching onto his arm. "The hallway is wide enough, dork." They walked, side by side, Ruby molded into his arm. At one point, she clutched tighter and just picked her legs up, letting him carry her down the hall.

"Weee!" She kicked her legs in the air, before touching down again, Jaune standing up straight again.

Jaune chuckled, "you're such a kid sometimes."

Her smile froze, crystalized, shattered, and was pulverized into a dust of utter betrayal and melancholy. "You jerk!" One of her arms unlatched from his own, and a tiny fist smacked into his chest.

"Ouch! Hey, what's that for?" Jaune assumed she was teasing, but the belief wavered when he saw her face. Was she actually mad? She pouted, and he'd be lying to himself if he said it wasn't cute.

She muttered darkly, "I'm not a kid. I'm not a child. I earned my place here."

"Hey, hey, I know that." He reached out with one hand, grabbing her shoulder, and her eyes flicked up to him, before returning to burn silver, fiery holes into the carpet as they walked.

"I just, meant it in a good way, you know?"

"How is 'being a kid' a good thing?"

"It makes me happy." She looked to him, her frustration fading into curiosity.

"What do you mean?"

"So, you remember that Cardin stuff, right?"

She chuckled and smirked, "You mean that time you let some bully totally make you his bitch?" Jaune pouted himself, and squeezed her arm against his side until she was writhing in mock agony, tugging at him.

He let her go, and she fell over against the wall.

"Now who's being a jerk?" She replied with her tongue, pointing it in his direction as an instrument of childish and petty warfare.

"But yeah, that stuff?"

"Right, well, you remember what you said to me?"

"That you have to think about more than yourself, that about being a leader is looking after your team?"

"Yeah, but you remember what you said first?"

She shook her head, and he couldn't help but look at it. Had Ruby Rose of all people done her hair?

"You said 'nope'."

"Well, yeah, but you were being a dumby."

He chuckled, "and I know that. But it was the way you said it. Just... 'nope'. It was so great. I was mopey, and dumb, and thinking too much. But you? You cut right through all of that. Just... 'nope'. It was so simple. I was wrong. It was the kind of... I don't know, determination, that you expect to see in a kid. Here I was, getting all complicated and weird, and you're just all 'nope, you're wrong. You're pretty okay." He smiled at her, before continuing, even as they approached the common room. "And that's what I mean when I say you're like a kid. You haven't let all this teenage garbage get in the way of what you think is right. And I like that." He shrugged, before realizing that they'd stopped in the hallway, facing each other. He started walking again, and was neither surprised nor saddened when he felt the warmth of Ruby's body as she latched onto his arm again.

A warm feeling suffused him as he watched Ruby smiling back at him. All this nonsense about Ruby acting odd was just that; he was being paranoid. Ruby was Ruby, his best friend. 'And kinda cute too.' Jaune stopped. He shook his head. 'Been down that path before. And Weiss won't even talk to me.' His eyes flickered to Ruby, who'd also paused, her expression slightly concerned.

"Everything alright, Jaune?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Y-yeah, sure. Sorry, just-" He paused. "Just remembered something in Oobleck's class. Nothing major." He shoved that thought away into the recesses of his mind and simply fell into step with Ruby, enjoying the closeness. He was worrying over nothing. Today would be a fun day, right? He'd plan some fun activities for his friends with his best friend. Everything was going to be great.

* * *

Pyrrha was of two minds. The first, was that she needed to protect Jaune at all costs. The red-eyed, slightly flaming demon to her right was held back only by sheer force of will, and the smile on her sister's face. The second, was that she was secretly jealous of Ruby Rose, jealous of how the girl could so easily ask Jaune to accompany her like that. Sure, it wasn't a date...or was it? Jaune might not have caught the subtle slip of her tongue earlier, but Pyrrha did, and furthermore, her jealousy was only compounded when she'd put two and two together, realizing that her fellow Huntress had seen what she'd yet to! Jaune's...other sword! She shook her head. Priority one was to assure Jaune's safety, and to prevent the two leaders from getting any closer. She turned to Yang.

"I keep telling you, Jaune is a gentleman. He would never touch Ruby like that." Pyrrha whispered, hoping that Ruby's hearing wasn't particularly sharp.

Yang's hands were balled into white knuckled fists. Really, it was only the fact that Ruby looked happy as a clam around Jaune, and the fact that Pyrrha was standing over her shoulder that was preventing Yang from having some very serious words with Jaune. And by words, she really meant punches. She instead distracted herself in debating with Pyrrha. "What, are you saying my little sister isn't pretty enough for Jaune? Besides, we all know Jaune likes them smaller. Otherwise he'd have jumped on you ages ago."

Pyrrha started to speak, but her mouth shut. Was that true? Was that why Jaune liked Weiss? He liked smaller girls? She bit her thumb, groaning softly. He'd never mentioned his preference in female forms, but if that were the case...she shook her head. No. She had to have faith! She could win him, and then, one moonlit night, when Ren and Nora were out on an all night pancake binge, she and Jaune would crawl into bed together, he'd slowly remove his clothes and-

Yang shook Pyrrha. "Hey, snap out of it! You're drooling."

Pyrrha blinked, and wiped her mouth, her cheeks going as red as her hair. "R-right. Sorry."

With a roll of her eyes, the blonde brawler peeked around the corner to the dorm hallway and narrowed her eyes. "Alright, they're moving. Let's keep going."

Pyrrha stepped in front of her, and was met with dangerous red eyes. "Don't you think we should give them some privacy? They said they were going to plan some fun events for the teams."

Yang snorted. "Only you would believe that." Pyrrha glared at her, unappreciative. "They aren't gonna plan nothing, Jaune's gonna try and work his way into my sister's combat skirt and I'm gonna break his coccyx."

Pyrrha stammered, "His what?!"

Yang's eyes faded. "His tailbone, Pyrrha. His butt bone."

"Oh..."

"What? Did you think I was gonna break that? Pyrrha, even if I don't approve of him dating my sister, that thing is too-"

"Can we please not talk about it?!"

Yang laughed, and she was terrified that Ruby and Jaune would hear them. "What?! Based on your expression a few seconds ago, I thought you'd love nothing better than to bring it up-"

Pyrrha did not consider herself a violent person. She had won tournaments, decided to become a huntress, but all for the greater good. She had a natural ability, and she would use that to protect people, but she never once considered herself vindictive, or cruel, or even very angry. But when Yang taunted her, like this, well. What would anyone have done?

So, she punched her. Yang was so surprised, and so unprepared for Pyrrha's completely justified outburst, that she was knocked unconscious. She slumped against the wall, and Pyrrha cried in disbelieving horror.

"I'm sorry!" Yang couldn't hear her. Yang was asleep. And Pyrrha had hurt her. One of her friends. She glanced around, terrified, but there was no one else in the corridor, Ruby and Jaune having long since continued walking to the common room. No one could find out what had happened. And then, Pyrrha thought a thought that she never would have thought she would think.

'I have to hide the body.'

* * *

"I think we should watch something."

Jaune had trouble focusing at the best of times, and with how hard he had to work to get up to the level of his friends, he loathed every distraction. Now though?

He looked down at the notebook papers scattered around the round table, with notes on fun outings, adventures, costs of said outings and adventures, very rough time schedules. They'd done a nice job. Outside of classes and the odd mission, this would ensure their fun for weeks to come. He smiled, proud, despite himself.

Ruby poked his cheek, glowering at him. "I said-"

He swatted at the hand, "I heard you, goofus." Ruby straightened, affronted face above hands set on hips.

"Excuse you, mister, I will have you know that I am a certified 'dolt'." The two burst into laughter and made their way over to the TV and couch, cackling and poking at each other. Ruby flopped onto the sofa, waving Jaune toward the cabinet with the DVD's.

"Fine, make me do all the work." Ruby snorted and stuck her tongue out at him again.

It was working. Ruby had to fight the urge to smirk. Everything was going according to the plan, the plan inspired in (most) part by that lovely little book that Blake had given her. Ninjas of Love opened up her eyes to a brand new, adult world, and she was going to enter into it with Jaune. Admittedly, she'd thought about if anyone else would be a good fit, and yet, all she could think about was how much she liked Jaune. No one else seemed like the 'right one' to do those kinds of activities with. She watched as Jaune flipped through the cabinet of DVDs, taking careful note of how...shapely his rear was in those jeans. Familiar, yet new feelings flooded her and she felt her legs rubbing together. Oh yeah, tonight would be the night. Tomorrow? A brand new, adult, Ruby Rose would emerge like a beautiful butterfly from its cocoon. And the cocoon would be the comforter that the students liked to keep next to the couch. Because they were going to bang. Ruby couldn't afford to be too subtle, even in her own thoughts. She might miss the innuendo.

"Ooh, X-Ray and Vav!" Jaune exclaimed, holding up a case.

Ruby's face fell slightly. Not that she was against superhero movies, but that wasn't exactly the most...romantic of movies. Oh well, she'd make do. She waited patiently as Jaune inserted the DVD into the player and the large scroll flickered to life, the animated menu showing up. Jaune walked back, remote in hand, and settled down onto the couch on the other end of it and flipped through the options. Ruby bit her lip. She had to be careful. Wait until the right moment and then…

The movie began with fanfare, but Ruby was paying it no mind. She waited, looking up at the clock on the wall, then back to Jaune who at this point was letting his attention become absorbed into the movie. Slowly, as the action raged on screen, Ruby slowly slid closer to Jaune until she was resting against him. He made no effort to move away, nor to push her away. This was good. However, she began to grow annoyed as Jaune was paying way more attention to the movie than her. It was time for step two. Ruby, laying against him, stuck her legs out, reaching just under her combat skirt and began to slowly pull down her tights. It wasn't until one of her legs was bare that Jaune's gaze finally flickered over to her.

His eyes widened. "Uh... Ruby?"

She smiled, looking far more confident than she felt. "What? Is something wrong, Jaune?"

"What…" Jaune swallowed, his throat suddenly becoming a bit dry for reasons he cared not to pursue, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, this?" She gestured toward her legs. "Sorry, didn't want to freak you out, or something. It's just been a long day, and it's kind of warm, and they're all sweaty...so yeah...can I...?"

She blushed, and god if he wasn't adorable. He looked away, nodding and trying to focus back on the movie, and Ruby finished pulling them off her other leg. She hadn't been lying. They were a little wet...just not for the reasons Jaune thought.

She had to move slowly again, Jaune still skittish. She was very pleased to see that his gaze sometimes flickered to her legs and she inched closer. That was very good; he liked her legs. She wouldn't mind him getting a little more acquainted with them.~

She inched closer, until their thighs were pressed together, side by side. His jeans were rough on her leg. He was right there. She looked up at his face, smiling contentedly, and her heart hammered against her chest, desperate to be close to the one it longed for (to borrow a phrase from a new favorite book). He looked down at her. "Ruby? You alright?"

She thought back to what Coco had said yesterday. What Jaune had said not half an hour ago. The way her father, her uncle, her sister, her team, her friends, the way they all treated her. Her face fell, and her mouth set into a determined grimace, even as one of her hands slid along his chest.

"I'm not a little girl. I'm not a kid."

"What?"

She looked up at him, silver eyes blazing, before taking the plunge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/N: I have absolutely no shame. No remorse in cutting the chapter off there. It's about the same length as our others, hell, even a little longer, and the opportunity was just too incredible. We'll try to update soon, but they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.~
> 
> Sorry if the quality dipped for this chapter. I wrote most of it, with Lefou only writing a little bit, so there's why.
> 
> L/N: Spooky's worse than he gives himself credit for. He's just kinda terrible. As he said, it's been awhile since we've updated, and honestly it's probably just due to having conflicting schedules. I've been severely lacking on updates of my own work, but this was a little easier as two heads make half the work. Hopefully you all won't be too upset with us ending our chapter here, but hey, cliffhangers are fun. :D


	6. When I Think About You I…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taiyang saves Jaune from certain death, but Qrow threatens that life again.

The first thought that crossed Jaune's mind once his brain started to work correctly was that the situation felt rather nice. Ruby's lips were awfully soft, and the way she crawled into his lap, throwing her arms around his neck as she smashed their mouths together, wasn't something Jaune could complain about. His body moved on its own accord, his arms wrapping around Ruby's waist and Ruby gave a delightful sound that Jaune couldn't place, but he'd be lying through his teeth if he said that he didn't want to hear it again.

The second thought that crossed through his mind, was that if Yang even thought that what was happening, was happening, she'd leave him six feet under. The ground. Because he would be  _deader_ than dead. He could  _not_ be seen making out with Ruby. His mind was torn between his libido, and his caution.

His train of thought was derailed, robbed, with the conductor's left tied up and naked at the front when Ruby slipped her tongue in. The train was then stripped of all valuable parts and then blown up when she started to rock her hips. God, if she wasn't going to kill him. His arms tightened around her waist like belts, or snakes, or something, and he pushed upward against her chin, and she chuckled so darkly that he wasn't sure the girl on his lap was Ruby.

"Good boy~..." Before he could really focus on how  _un_ -Ruby-like Ruby was being, she swooped back in and devilishly  _dragged_ her hips across his own. Jaune was certain that at any moment, he was going to wake up, and that this was merely the best dream a person could possibly have. He was going to spend the rest of his life knowing that no moment, dream or reality, would ever be this satisfying, make him this happy, feel this goOooaaoah!

Something was zipped. Or unzipped. How were you supposed to tell just from the noise?

Nope! Definitely unzipped! Ruby's hand was straying into dangerous waters, and certainly far sooner than was appropriate for their relationship!

"Ruby-!?"

"Shhhh...just let me take care of you. You don't know how long I've waited for this."

"Wha-"

"Three  _agonizing_  days. Lying awake at night, thinking about it, sitting at the same table knowing it was  _right there_ , just waiting for me, all long and har-"

"Okay! I think it's really time we find some adult supervision, eh Rub-?" Jaune started to stand, but Ruby clung to him, rather like a lemur species found on Menagerie, known for its dark red fur and aggressive mating rituals.

"You love me, don't you Jaune?"

"W-what?" ' _I mean...I_ was  _just kissing her. Are you gonna seriously just do that and then walk away, cast aside her feelings like some big jerk?'_ And she had always been one of his best friends, maybe  _the_ best. But how did she mean? Did he love her?

Yes, in the same way he loved Pyrrha or Ren or Nora.

"Well y-yeah..."

"Then don't take this from me."

"What-!?"

Ruby stretched out a leg, braced it against the arm of the couch, and spun them around, landing atop Jaune's chest as they collapsed in a gasping breath. One surprisingly strong hand clasped at his neck, pinning him in place, while the other worked at his belt.

"Ruby!"

"Whatever happens Jaune, remember that I love you."

To say this was bad, was an understatement. Making out with Ruby was bad enough, but  _this_? Yang would somehow disintegrate him with the sheer power of her hate. Jaune struggled, but Ruby's grip was too strong, and while he might have tried to talk his way out of things, the almost manic look in Ruby's eyes told him that talking was the last thing the silver eyed girl wanted to do.

It was then when reality finally gave up.

Said surrender came first with the sound of breaking glass as something or  _someone_  came bursting in through the window, which was quite the trick seeing how they were a good three stories up. For a brief moment, Jaune's heart stopped beating in his chest as he figured that Yang had found them, and that he was a dead man. He'd only mentally wrote Pyrrha and Ren into his will before he realized something. While the person who'd crashed through the window was blond, it was most certainly  _not_ Yang Xiao Long, unless she'd somehow got a sex change in less than 24 hours. The man, who Jaune had to admit looked quite rugged, rushed over and without ceremony, snatched Ruby up with one hand by her cape, causing the girl to start flailing around.

"Kid, quick! I'll hold her back, you get out of here!"

Jaune blinked in surprise, but quickly recovered from the shock, fastening his belt and scrambling to his feet. By this point, Ruby was starting to make sounds that were more animal than human as she flailed angrily in the man's grip, kicking and hissing and whining as she tried to get free. He did catch one thing, though:

"Dad!"

Jaune looked to his savior in terror. Oh god. That was so,  _so_ much worse. He turned and ran, bolting out the door like the devil himself was on his heels.

The man sighed, his expression morphing into one of exasperation and resignation. "Now what am I going to do with you?" He was given no other answer other than the girl in his hand flailing harder. He sighed again. "You are just like your mother, you know that? How did Qrow handle her that one time? Oh, yeah." He snapped the fingers of his other hand and marched Ruby over to a nearby coat rack, hanging her there by the collar. Ruby continued flailing in place and the man rubbed the back of his neck. "Alright, there. That should keep you from getting into trouble, at least until you calm down. Poor kid's probably shitting bricks right now." He stretched and walked out the door, leaving a spitting, angry Ruby behind him.

"Now, the kid didn't look like he was too fast and if I was a terrified beanpole, where would I go? Hm…" The man stroked his chin, then adjusted his vest. "I'd hide. Classrooms." With that, one Taiyang Xiao Long began to stroll down the hallway, hands in his pockets as he began his mission of mercy…

* * *

**[Classroom - Beacon]**

* * *

" _Oh god, don't kill me!_ "

Taiyang couldn't help but chuckle to himself. That was quick. It only took him a good ten minutes before he was able to catch up to the kid. "Kid, relax I-"

"I swear, I didn't mean it!" Jaune cried out, hiding behind a desk on the other side of the room, his face as pale as Weiss' dress. "I just got caught up in things and I totally didn't mean to make out with Ruby- _n-not that I wouldn't want to make out with her!_  I mean-" At this point, the younger blond was babbling incoherently in his panic.

He chuckled again. "You've got good taste."

Jaune, if possible, went paler. "What?"

His tan nose crinkled. "Ew, gross, not like that, don't make it weird."

"But you said?"

"Look, she takes after her mom, alright? And if you were to kiss my wife, I would say you had good taste, right before I kicked your teeth in."

"Oh, come on!"

Taiyang shook his head and ran a hand through curly blonde hair. "Kid, look, I'm only trying to-"

"I wasn't going to have sex with her, I swear! N-never! N-not that she isn't attractive!  _Please don't kill me!_ "

There was silence, then, "...Well, why not?"

Jaune blinked. "What?"

"You're both young, it's obvious she likes you, it's a totally natural thing! Hell, I lost my v-card when I was here at Beacon, about first year too."

"...Are you seriously trying to encourage me to sleep with your  _daughter_?"

Taiyang's expression twisted as he tried to find the right words. "I wouldn't say  _encourage_...just saying that if Ruby is anything like her mother, and she is a  _lot_ like her mother, you might really not have much of a choice."

Now assured that his life wasn't in danger (until Yang found out), Jaune collapsed onto the desk, back rising in great heaving pants.

"This is such a mess..."

Taiyang could sympathize, and he paced over, patting Jaune comfortingly on the back, before tapping his shoulder.

"Hm?"

Taiyang nudged his shoulder, and Jaune sat up, his gaze confused as Taiyang sat on the desk, before patting the spot next to him. Jaune sighed and sat next to him, the two tall blondes resting their feet on the tiled floor of the classroom.

"So, Ruby likes me...?"

"Yup."

"And she wants...you know...?"

"Yup."

Jaune's brow furrowed. "But...we're still just friends. You're supposed to save that for someone you love..." His voice got quieter with every word, until Taiyang had to strain to hear the last. He openly laughed, before reaching over and ruffling Jaune's hair.

"You're adorable."

Jaune chuckled to himself and shoved the older man, shrugging away.

"Kid...What's your name?"

"Jaune. Jaune Arc."

"Arc? God damn. Arc fertility and Rose libido, good god, I'll have ten grandkids by 45."

"What?" Jaune hadn't heard his (slightly terrified) muttering.

"Look, Jaune, you like Ruby, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do. Ruby's one of my closest friends."

Taiyang chuckled warmly. "I don't quite mean like that, kid. Do you  _love_ her? Well, that might be a bit much for someone as young as you, but you're at least attracted to her, right? Would you, I dunno...wanna date her?" He finished explaining.

"I…" Jaune froze. Admitting he liked Ruby as a friend was one thing. As a girlfriend though? It hadn't been something he'd considered. Or maybe he had, but it had been one of those intrusive thoughts he'd tried to ignore out of fear of risking his current relationship with Ruby. It wasn't an  _unpleasant_ thought, now that he stopped and gave it some thought. Ruby was kind, sweet, and was the only other person besides Pyrrha who seemed to have total and unconditional faith in him. Hell, he'd be lying if he said he hadn't enjoyed kissing her. "I...think so?"

"See, that? That's a good sign." Taiyang gestured to him, pulling a can of something cold from...somewhere. He cracked it open and took a long hearty sip. "'Means you're thinking about it. You didn't say anything right away, which is good." He sipped again. "Ruby's not an instant-answer kinda girl. Never should be."

"So...what should I do in the meantime? I mean Ruby was...she was kinda…" Jaune blushed faintly at the mere memory of Ruby's aggressive actions.

"Forward? Yeah, her mother was just as bad. Look, I'll stick around for awhile, let you get your thoughts in order, but I should warn you, the longer you wait, the more aggressive she's gonna get. I can't keep her away forever." Taiyang finished his drink, looked down at the can in his hand and smashed it against his forehead. "Heh, still got it." He tossed the can into a nearby bin with the practised ease of a pro basketball player, and turned back to Jaune. "For now, take a load off. It's probably been one hell of a night for you."

"W-wait, what about Yang? She's going to kill me if she even sees me thinking of kissing Ruby much less anything else!"

Taiyang laughed. "Yeah, Yang can be a bit overprotective. Kinda my fault. I'll give her a talk as well. I mean, you seem like a good kid, and if I know the Arcs, you guys are big on family. In more than one sense." Taiyang muttered the last, before grinning again at Jaune. "That's a big plus in my book."

Jaune gave a nervous smile. "T-thanks. You know, you're a pretty cool guy yourself."

Taiyang laughed even harder. "Try convincing my kids of that!"

Feeling much more at ease, Jaune stood up off of the desk. "Thanks, sir. I'll definitely think about things. I mean, Ruby's a great girl. I don't want to rush off on anything with her."

"Good kid. I got a good feeling about you, Jaune. Don't let me down."

"I'm gonna hit the hay. I need some rest." Jaune yawned and waved as he walked out of the classroom.

Taiyang called after him "Make sure to wear gloves!"

Jaune peeked back in. "What?"

His maybe-possibly-future father-in-law punched his fists together. "Before you hit the hay."

Jaune rolled his eyes, but he smirked and laughed anyway. "God, you  _are_ Yang's dad."

He barked a laugh as Jaune left, before his smile vanished. "Wait, where am I gonna stay until this blows over? Oh god...Goodwitch...the window..." He groaned and slumped. "Maybe I can be lucky and time has softened the old witch...at least the kid's got nothing more to worry about…"

* * *

**[Vale - Bullhead Landing Zone]**

* * *

"Thanks for getting here so soon, Uncle Qrow."

"Yeah, yeah." Qrow was already in a bad mood as things went. Between all the issues going on with the Queen and Ironwood being stubborn, his job wasn't going well. Things took a turn for the worse, however, when he'd heard that his niece, his dear, sweet,  _innocent_ niece was being taken advantage of by some scumbag kid. At least he could take care of business quickly, touch bases with Ozpin and leave, knowing that his dear niece's chastity would be protected. He'd have to use some of his contacts though, to hide the body of whatever punk thought he could touch Ruby.

Yang shuffled nervously from foot to foot. "Uncle Qrow?"

Qrow paused in his dramatic-and-intimidating-glare practice. "Hm?"

"It's just been eating at me: why do you think dad told me to wait? He said not to do anything to stop this mess, or go anywhere near Jaune! I mean, you'd think, since Ruby's his daughter, you know? And dad's are supposed to be overprotective, right?"

"Your dad is under some pretty weird assumptions when it comes to Ruby and romance, kiddo. He was like that with your mom too, always said that she was secretly hiding a ravenous thirst behind her sweet exterior."

"What? When you guys talk about her, she never  _sounds_ sweet."

Qrow's scowl faded almost entirely, and he slung an arm around his niece's shoulder. "Not Raven, kid. Your mom."

"Oh." Yang smiled up at him, before her nose crinkled in disgust.

"Ew, gross, Qrow! You smell terrible!"

After completely exaggerating how bad he smelled, she paused, and her nose-wrinkle of disgust was replaced with a nose-wrinkle of confusion. "Wait, but that doesn't explain dad."

"Look, your dad's weird, alright, especially when it comes to girls named Rose. I'm really not sure what he's planning, but it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't do anything to stop this kid from taking advantage of Ruby."

"Seriously?! But she's his daughter!"

"Heh, don't I know it. Even before you called me, he told me that 'Ruby had awakened something inside herself', whatever that was supposed to mean."

Yang shook her head. Her uncle was right. Ever since Summer had passed away, her father  _had_ been fairly weird. "So...you'll take care of things, right?"

Qrow nodded. "It's why I got here as fast as I could. Just direct me to the kid's dorm room, and I'll take care of the rest. What's his name, anyway?"

"Huh?" Yang blinked. "It's-"

Before she could finish, Qrow cut her off. "On second thought, don't tell me. I need all the deniability I can get."

Yang bit down on the tip of her thumb for a few seconds before replying, "He's the leader of team JNPR. They live in the dorm right across the hall from us."

Qrow hefted his blade over his shoulder. "Good. This'll make things easy. All you four have to do is just deny you've heard anything."

"Um, Uncle Qrow, you don't really have to  _permanently_ remove him. Just...you know...maybe scare him?" Yang replied, looking a tad uneasy.

"Relax, Junebug. I've got this. By the time I'm done with him, that kid won't be an issue." Qrow brushed off his niece's concern, but as he stepped forward, he wobbled dangerously, and Yang caught him across the front.

She propped him up and looked into his eyes. They were a little too dilated, and he couldn't seem to focus. "How long have you been awake?"

"Don't worry, I need to- to go take care of that kid."

Yang's eyes hardened. "How. Long."

"That's not important, I just-" Yang silenced him with a glare. "Jesus. You remind me of my sister sometimes." She wasn't sure how to feel about that. "Alright, alright, I'll deal with him tomorrow. Just...can I lie down, somewhere?"

She smirked as he finally gave in. Really, her uncle could be so head strong sometimes. Luckily, she wasn't  _anything_ like that. Remotely. Ever.

* * *

**Omake: Precedent**

"Raven, we  _really_  should be going now…"

The break room was tense beyond belief. On one side of the room, one Taiyang Xiao-Long stood nervously, wringing his hands. Standing in front of him with a smirk on her face, Raven Branwen stood, eyes locked with a woman a full head shorter than she was. On the other side of the room, glaring back at Raven was one Summer Rose, who was currently snarling angrily, teeth bared and silver eyes narrowed. Holding her back in desperation was Raven's brother, Qrow Branwen. Summer snarled and whined like a rabid animal, struggling to break Qrow's grasp in murderous fury at the red-eyed, black haired woman before her.

"In a minute, Taiyang,  _dear_." Raven emphasized the last word, her smirk growing as Summer's flailing only grew.

Qrow, slowly being dragged forward by the surprising strength of his teammate, tried so hard to pull her back away from her sister. "Damn it, Raven! Stop rubbing it in and  _leave_! I can't hold her off forever!"

"Raven, honey, please? It's not really nice to be taunting Summer like that…"

Raven briefly rolled her eyes before turning her back deliberately on Summer, fixing Taiyang with a smile. "You're right. The longer we spend here, the less fun we'll get to have at the hotel. Luckily for us, I reserved three days. I wonder whose stamina will give out first…" Raven purred, Taiyang's eyes widening as he blushed at the implications.

Implications that were sending Summer into a frothing fury. One of her hands broke free of Qrow and she began to make scratching gestures as she flailed impotently at Raven, murder in her gaze. " _Damn it Raven, will you get the hell out of here?!_ " Qrow half screamed, feeling his grip on Summer loosen by the second.

Raven huffed, but complied, a quick wave of her hand opening up a glowing rift in space-time. With one last smirk back over her shoulder, she and Taiyang stepped through the portal. As she did so, Raven smacked Taiyang's rear with an audible smack, causing him to jump and causing Summer to give an inhuman screech of fury, cut off by the portal's closing. The two gone, Qrow gave a breath of relief, but noticed that Summer's fury wasn't abated. "Shit...you really are pissed off at missing out on Taiyang's Tai-wang, aren't you? If I let you go now, you'll just go hunt them down, and bitch though she is, Raven is family…"

A lightbulb went off in Qrow's head.

With a grin, the Huntsman-in-training gave a herculean burst of effort and dragged Summer backward, picking her up off the ground. If she noticed, she didn't make it known, instead simply flailing and kicking in Qrow's grip in her single-minded attempt to chase down Taiyang and Raven. With a heave, Qrow proceeded to lift Summer up and hooked the back of her cape onto a nearby coat rack, leaving her flailing a couple feet above the ground. So overcome with rage was she, she never noticed that she could have simply kicked herself off of the wall, or undone her cape to escape.

"There. I'll leave you there, and let you cool down. Freakin' Raven. I swear, sometimes I think she just got together with Taiyang just to spite you…" Qrow shook his head, sighed and looked around the room, ignoring the animalistic noises Summer continued to make. "God, I need a drink…"

"You're underage..."

"Doesn't matter."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L/N: Woo, another chapter, hot off the presses! This one was a little more difficult to get out, simply because of plot issues, but they were quickly resolved. Admittedly, we're getting close to the crux of the story here, and there's probably only two, maybe three chapters left, but we're saving the (hopefully) best for last. Will Ruby get Jaune? Will Jaune admit his feelings for Ruby? Will Qrow put a stop to all of this? Will Pyrrha ever get to see Jaune's sausage? The answer to most of these will be coming soon!
> 
> S/N: I don't think I've ever fully understood how self conscious I am until I took commissions. Now that I am, I look at my writing and go "This is such garbage. I shouldn't be paid for this. Why did I ever think I could do this?" And then, it's so much easier when I come back to RitCoP, because Lefou does all the work, and I can fool myself into thinking I've accomplished anything. Speaking of something that Lefou did, here's an omake.


End file.
